Are you dealing with negativity much?

Do you have many joy killers in your life? You know, the kind of folks who just can’t get with the program that life IS a gift even when they have to make up the fun parts?
What emotion do you think runs their circuits so that in the end these people wind up moaning that every solution has a problem…that happiness looks bleak…that your helpful insight is faulty, or that your parade is headed in the wrong direction? What maddening energy makes them tick?
They might routinely reflect the pain of living. Perhaps they have a perplexing need to focus on the shadow side of everything.  Maybe “whateva” is their old favorite catchphrase.  Perhaps it’s worse than that, and you have become sick and tired of putting up with them.
Some say they are sad – others apathetic, but to me rather than blaming pain, grief, fear or apathy, negativity occurs in the anger band of emotion. 
Here we have a variation on a theme:
“I’m pissed and I’m gonna show it by acting out or not-acting….”
“The world is unfair. I have a right to be negative.” 
“I’m so done here but I have to stay…and that’s why I’m so miserable.”
“The world is full of donutholes.”
Same difference. 
It is all ANGER causing a person to create a boundary against the “unfairness” or whatever other term they like to use, and it is the best they know how to be, with little emotional recourse to be otherwise. Anger can either cause boundaries against the flow of life, or get you to make a change – and you get to choose which it will be when you become conscious of what is needed.

What Would a Mystic Do??

Each emotion is stimulated in a different area of the human bodymind.  Although all emotion can seem to be a mystery that arises from within, each is quite distinct and quite systematic in the way it stimulates a whole series of very specific energetic responses. You can pinpoint areas of the body, internal functions, descriptive words and phrases we use, and balancing strategies when addressing each one. The energetic anatomy of anger tells us that strategies are to be found in the fifth chakra territory of the throat. 
The energetic challenge embraces willpower, boundaries, truth, and voice.
Aside from what you can do for yourself to transform your own negativity, here are a few pointers on how to handle your pesky friends, co-workers and relatives, wherever they may be. They are energy sappers and they will wear you out unless you create some clear boundaries of your own.
Use the color blue, physically in your surroundings, mentally in your visualizations of them, and energetically to protect yourself, then try several of the following techniques:
o   Stop trying to fix them. Stop.
o   Make super strong boundaries around this situation and yourself.
o   Create sacred space away from this person – even a crystal or flower on your desk.
o   Separate your mental space from them with a clear distinction of what is yours and what belongs to them.
o   Do not engage the negativity.
o   Be true to your own word with this person.
o   Be crystal clear with this person.
o   No backsies with this person – if you say you are going to do something, do it.
o   Keep kindness in your tone, with a slight edge of boredom. This will help diffuse the emotional energy itself by eliminating additional emotional fuel.
o   Do not try to change this person – the focus is on changing YOU in relation to the person. They will perk up – or they won’t.
o   Keep communications short and sweet.
o   Document communication as much as possible.
o   “No” is a complete sentence.
o   Clear your throat.
o   Open your breath.
o   Yawn.
o   Hum. 
Keep the love – sometimes folks will see the light and get with the program. They will choose to open up, get help, or re-educate their own perspective about the usefulness of negativity. If not, and you cannot control yourself with all of the above, tough love is in order. It is time to leave and make a new plan with people who will not make you sick.  

I know that sounds strong – it is.  

You are the one who is entrapped if you are saying how miserable something is and you can’t get out.  Keep your heart open but your choices clear – you can care for negative people from afar. Plan your work and work your plan as you move toward a better tomorrow.

Chin up! Let me know how it goes.
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